You can learn to dream again in spite of your failure
Most of us must have, at one point or the other, gone through a particularly traumatic experience; an
experience so painful that it leaves you thoroughly disillusioned and demoralised.
In most cases some of these experiences crush one’s spirit to the extent that if the person is not strong enough, they might give up on life altogether.
Take the case of the businessman who watches his life investments wiped out in a single tragic event.
Chances are that if this person did not have a fall back plan it is quite probable that he would find it really difficult getting back to where he was.
Or the person who, for one reason or the other, finds themselves unable to repay a loan they had taken, and the lending institution attaches the little property they had, in order to recover the loan.
And what about the politician who loses his seat in parliament and can ’t win back the seat in the
subsequent by -election? Examples of bad things happening to people abound. Well, the reality of life is such that these things happen, not only to the poor or the down trodden, but to the rich and successful. The question therefore is, how does one recover from such a setback and move on with life? In his new book; You can Dream Again, Pepe Minambo argues that success in life isn’ t just a matter of being the best; “Success is about handling the worst. It is being able to deal constructively with life ’s disappointments.”
Basically, what the book says is that no matter how difficult a position one finds themselves in, it is of no use dwelling on the past, as the painful past will only leave you feeling bitter and resentful. Yet the wheels of life keep turning, whether you are down or not.
Using research and personal experience, the author outlines steps through which a person, can follow with a view to overcoming a tragic
event, and leading a normal, even successful life.
Pepe, who is also a motivational speaker, says that the state of a person ’s mind has a lot to do with whether the person overcomes a tough situation or they remain destitute. He talks of people who ‘fall in love’ with their misfortunes and thus keep talking about them in the hope that empathise with them.
Pepe says that expressions of pity from people, though deceivingly comforting, do not help much. “The solution to your problem lies in
you,” he writes. “And the faster you realise this and start doing something about it the better. Remember when your dream goes up in smoke, do not sit back and start counting your losses; rather, stand up and start counting your blessings.”
The author says that one of the fastest ways overcoming a painful setback is to first of all accept the situation. Many people, he says, react to painful scenarios by going into denial. Take the example of the person who gets blinded after drinking an illicit brew.
If such a person goes into denial mode, he or she is setting themselves up for further heartbreak. Thus the faster such a person accepts their condition and starts learning how cope with the blindness, the better it will be for him to overcome that painful episode and move on with life.
Most of all Pepe tells people undergoing a painful patch that while it might be the first time it is happening to them, the reality is such
that it has happened to other people before. Thus it is not unique to them.
Pepe gives his own experience about how at some point in life he pumped his life’s saving into a diamond and gold business, in his home country of Congo. “At the time of getting into the business, I harboured dreams of turning into an overnight millionaire,” he
narrates. “Since I did not have any experience in that kind of
business it was clear from the
beginning was headed for failure.”
Instead of recognising failure when it first manifested itself, Pepe went into denial mode, and kept pumping money into the business in the
vain hope that the business would somehow turn around. “The more money I pumped into the business, the more of it went down the drain.”
Luckily for him he had the state of mind to accept the stark reality of failure. “I accepted the unacceptable and decided to mend the
broken pieces of my dream and start all over again. ”
Today, Pepe is a much sought after motivational speaker. With four motivational books to his name, Pepe gets invitations to give talks to
corporate organisations and schools around the country and abroad .
His other books are Be Inspired Before you Expire, Inspired for Greatness and a student’s handbook The Greatness Syndrome.
The beauty about Pepe’s book is that what he writes is grounded in reality and therefore easy to follow and